WHDD Radio, With Janina Kean, September 29, 2015
Is there a certain amount of sobriety time that a sponsor should have or certain qualities? … Or is it just a matter of picking someone that you feel close to?
Marshall: It is right now time for silver spotlight with Janina Keen of course from high watch recovery center 8603645141 is our live line and 18557479433. We do open up the line and we say good morning to Janina. Good morning Janina.
Janina: Hi Marshall. Hi Jill. How are you?
Marshall: Not too bad. Not too bad. I enjoy the extended summer weather.
Janina: Yes. It’s lovely isn’t it?
Marshall: Well, it’s going to come to an end soon.
Janina: Oh I know, but I love the nights. I love the coolness of the nights.
Marshall: It is nice. It is very nice. What was that? I turned you off.
Janina: I’m being definitive. It’s over.
Marshall: Oh okay. Well with that being said we are going to go to the telephone lines as a matter of fact right now. As we have a question for Janina. Hi do you have a question for Janina?
Zack: Yes. Good morning. My name is Zack. I’m new to the fellowship of AA. I’ve been in the program now for a little over a month. This is my first time getting sober. I hope from my last time … I’ve been to a couple of meetings around my area, there seems to be a recurring theme of this idea of sponsorship and having a sponsor to be able to talk to and go through the steps with. Now I don’t know too much about this idea of a sponsor. Although, I’m learning. I would like to ask Janina … I believe it is … if she can give me somewhat advice as to what I should look for in a sponsor. Is there a certain amount of sobriety time that a sponsor should have or certain qualities? … Or is it just a matter of picking someone that you feel close to?
Janina: Hi, How are you Zack?
Zack: Good thanks.
Janina: It’s Janina. Those are very good questions and very good questions especially for someone who just got sober. A sponsor is someone who is a seasoned AA person who has learned to live sober. Meaning they have been able to do months, years, at this point of their life without doing it by picking up a drink or a drug. They’re someone who knows the AA program, they know how to use the AA program to maintain sobriety. They’re someone who knows how to work the twelve steps of AA to show someone how to work through their issues with their relationships with power … Their relationships with themselves … Their relationships with others. A sponsor is really like a teacher … A mentor … A professor of sobriety. When you’re looking for somebody you want to look for somebody who’s been around the rooms for some time now. Who knows how to do this AA fellowship. Who will sit down with you and take you through the twelve steps. Who will help you get sober. I always suggest to my patients that they look for someone who’s very kind … Very loving.
Sometimes people think they should get a sponsor who is like a tough guy or a tough women. I say that when you are looking to do that, what you’re really translating out is that you want somebody else to take care of you. You can’t do that. You have to learn to take responsibility for your recovery. I always encourage people to find someone who’s encouraging, loving, but not mandating that they do X, Y, and Z and controlling your behavior or your actions.
Janina: So that would be what I suggest. I would start out with … Zack just raise your hand in AA meetings right now. Let them know you’re new and that you’re looking for people who could help you … Maybe sponsor you … Mentor you … You’d welcome phone numbers. Just as for that and then you’ll figure out who am I comfortable with, do they have something that I want and that will help you.
Zack: Right. Okay. Well thank you very much. I appreciate it. That should help me very much along the way.
Janina: Well good luck to you Zack.
Zack: Thank you. Thank you very much. I enjoy your show.
Janina: Thank you dear. Bye bye.
Zack: Take care.
Marshall: All right. Now Janina I have to say that … And this is for people that think that maybe high watch is not approachable. There’s certain attitudes out there and things that people don’t understand. A friend of mine had gone to high watch.
Marshall: I’m just going to leave it at that. It took some very, very strong convincing. To get this friend of mine to do this.
Marshall: He did it. I heard from him. I just … This morning as a matter of fact. He writes clear as a bell, he sound clear as a bell. Now I know it’s only a first step, but if I had his permission and I could play for you or tell you what he sounded like before and after and what his outlook was before and right now. It is an absolutely amazing thing. I was just talking about it with Jill. He is going to be discharged … I guess sometime next month, but he just sounds like a person who has taken that first major step … To recovery. All I can say to you is … And to the folks at high watch is thank you. This is an actual real thing where somebody who was heading down the road to disaster, took that first correct step.
Janina: Thank you for your kind words.
Marshall: Now it’s an amazing … I always say this because my brother and my sister, Mitchell and [inaudible 00:06:00], who are both 25 to 30 year people.
Janina: Everybody’s much older.
Marshall: I just wanted to say it’s bad for you people out there who much think that your listening to this … It sounds like this. No, it’s real and it’s out there for everybody. All it takes is that simple decision to make the call and make that first step. It’s not something that you hear on the radio. That’s not true. It’s touchable. It’s real.
Janina: By the way, the only thing that I want to add to that it’s not that simple decision. It’s not so simple. Say make that hard decision.
Marshall: Sometimes when people hear something on the radio or see it on TV. They tend to think ay yai yai. No, it’s not that. It’s real. It’s out there. It’s tangible. It’s not an intangible … the help that you can get.
Janina: Thank you Marshall. Thank you Jill.
Marshall: Now if people want to get a hold of you.
Marshall: Thanks Janina.
Janina: Thank you. See you next week.
Marshall: Highwatchrecovery.com on the web is the web address.